I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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