I bet he comes in French.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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