no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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