Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
