It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Randomize
