just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
