she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
A+ Viking dick
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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