you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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