i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
