So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I smell stomach acid.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
