i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize