So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
