Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
