i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
