he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
