my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
