i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize