"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
