i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
