Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
