We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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