I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
