why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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