i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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