I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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