i permit you to call me
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
