haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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