Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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