the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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