What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize