I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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