Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Two words: blizzard sex
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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