i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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