I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
