thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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