It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
