just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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