So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Come see our sink grown plant.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
