JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
worst night to have a conscience
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
