i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Randomize
