ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
