The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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