There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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