Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
