SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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