I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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