yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
