i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
