i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
