just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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