turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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