For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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