five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
