Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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