Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I didn't notice because vodka
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
