we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
