TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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