My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
