he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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