i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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